I was sitting here thinking... What's the point of this blog if I'm not going to put it all out there. State the facts, what I'm going to do about it and the difficult journey to obtaining it. "It" being my goal weight. Ugh - it makes me shudder to say "goal weight." It makes me sounds so shallow and narrow minded. But in the desire to have a healthier lifestyle overall, let's face it -- one of the biggest motivators is to lose weight!!
Since I was a little girl, weight has always been a big deal in my house. I competed in gymnastics from the age of 6-12. We had nutritionists come in and tell us what is good food and bad food. We were weighed and kept a public chart of this weight and our fluctuations. (It was never a problem with me at this age - it just highlighted to me the importance - or so it seemed - of your weight.) Also during this time, I also competed in beauty pageants. I know, I know... Visions of Toddlers and Tiaras are jumping in your heads. It wasn't nearly that bad "back in the day." I loved them. I had so much fun with my grandmother doing them. But again, this pounded in my head the importance of being thin.
When I was older, (12 and up), I started to grow. All of a sudden, I couldn't just eat what I wanted to. I would notice my clothes would get tight and I started to realize I had to watch what I ate. I was a cheerleader, played basketball (for my school and also AAU) and ran track so activity was never a problem, but it was always in the back of my mind what I was eating. Once I graduated high school and settled into college life - this is when the real realization of diet and exercise came into play. I wouldn't say I was obsessed with food and/or exericse, it was just always on my mind. Always thinking, "Am I fatter today?" or "What do I look like compared to her?" (Something I still do now...)
Since I've joined the work force, things took a turn for the worse. I worked crazy hours for the first few years of being a nurse - 7pm to 7am. That made it so difficult to eat right. I felt like I either ate too much or not enough. And exercise? Please... I was so exhausted most of the time, I just couldn't work it in regularly. Now that I have a normal schedule, I have no excuse. I need a routine. I need organization. I need motivation!! And this, my friends, is why I'm here.
When I was older, (12 and up), I started to grow. All of a sudden, I couldn't just eat what I wanted to. I would notice my clothes would get tight and I started to realize I had to watch what I ate. I was a cheerleader, played basketball (for my school and also AAU) and ran track so activity was never a problem, but it was always in the back of my mind what I was eating. Once I graduated high school and settled into college life - this is when the real realization of diet and exercise came into play. I wouldn't say I was obsessed with food and/or exericse, it was just always on my mind. Always thinking, "Am I fatter today?" or "What do I look like compared to her?" (Something I still do now...)
Since I've joined the work force, things took a turn for the worse. I worked crazy hours for the first few years of being a nurse - 7pm to 7am. That made it so difficult to eat right. I felt like I either ate too much or not enough. And exercise? Please... I was so exhausted most of the time, I just couldn't work it in regularly. Now that I have a normal schedule, I have no excuse. I need a routine. I need organization. I need motivation!! And this, my friends, is why I'm here.
My height is 5'11''. I currently (Friday, January 07, 2011) weight.....(shuddering)............. 188lbs. I'm not shuddering at the fact that 188lb is a lot of weight, it's just a lot for me. I've never weighed this much in my entire life. I'm not used to the fact that my clothes no longer look at all like they used to on me, I'm not used to the fact my body no longer looks like it used to, I'm not used to the fact that it looks like two rather humongous watermelons attached to my chest (I'm very self-conscious about them...), and on and on...
So, with this being said, here is my accountability to myself. I have revealed to you my weight. Now I have to make some progress!! I started this blog to keep a journal of my thoughts and to give me motivated for change. It will be great to be able to blog about losing 10 pounds! But the bigger motivator is to not have to blog about my lack of progress or not losing much weight, or not eating the way I said I was going to.
My goal weight is 150 pounds. This would put my BMI at 20.9.
So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. :)
Thanks for listening.
P
